My last post was an upbeat one due to the exciting and hopeful conversation I had with my sister, Kelly, about Christ. Those of you that know me well should understand that this is a big deal because of our pasts; yet again you might not because you forgot or something but regardless, it's a huge step towards something good. I can definitely see how God is working with her and several of my other friends who have started pursuing Christ. It's exciting to see that and even more exciting to be apart of that; to be there, help and care for them as they search out who Christ really is. On the other hand I don't see God working amidst all the pain and drama that is going on with some of my other friends and with IV. But doesn't mean He's not working; just that I am blinded by all these struggles and hurts that keep me from seeing how this is all going to turn out in the end. The sermon from yesterday was about that; discouragement, what that looks like, how to deal with it, what it means to be discouraged, and to be reminded that God is still working, just behind the scenes. And the pastor said something that was pretty encouraging, actually the whole sermon was encouraging which is funny because it was about discouragement, that the devil is going to try everything in his power to keep you down, to keep you from God and to keep you from doing God's work. And when you feel discouraged remember that you must be doing something the devil doesn't like because he is trying to distract and hurt so much to keep you from doing what God has called you to do. Satan doesn't play fair; he kicks you when your down. And he went on to tell a story about this new believer in Christ and how all this crappy stuff happened. It was a good example and something I needed to hear to keep from GIVING UP.
Because that's what I've been wanting to do these past couple of weeks, just give up and move on to the next chapter in life. It's hard to pursue people when your not pursued, to feel like friends are drifting away with out a care in the world, to care constantly, when on occasions, you don't feel cared for. I know several people who have experienced t this and who have friends just walk out with out looking back and yeah, it sucks and hurts, Lloyd can vouche for me on that. But then you hear about the good friendships, the true ones, the kinds that form true Christian community that Christ talks about and what churches and IV should be. For example, Andrew and I were talking and he brought up how Doug had said something like "you mean a lot to me, or you mean too much to me for that" and I was just like dang, that's awesome to be told that. That's a true, real, caring, friendship. That's the kind of community that IV should have and one that I want to help build.
It was weird how Katie and I, on the way to church, were talking about how we felt incredibly discouraged with some stuff going on at ODU with IV, friends, whatever, and bam! look what the pastor talks about. It's crazy! It happens so often and I'm pretty freaked out about it. See, there's God again, easily seen. It's just we gotta be reminded when stuff sucks that God has a reason for it and is still working, even if we can't see it.
On a side note, we finally met the pastor after going to the church for almost half a year with me almost forcing Katie to go say hi. We also went to the college class thing with a better leader this time and it seems like everything that I try to provide for my small group, discussion, community, outreach, was everything that we agreed upon to have in that class so that was cool to see. Kind of excited to where this goes. Also, we "committed" ourselves to reading scripture and memorizing some too for next week's class to discuss what we learned and how it applied. That will be good for me because I need some accountability concerning my pursuit towards God and reading scripture as I have been falling astray of late, getting too distracted for God. bad, bad, bad. That's about it, sometimes missing what I had in the past and reminding myself of God, working behind the scenes.
