Right now, I hate growing up. I hate being a "grown up". Having to pay for bills, pay for groceries, worry about the next meal, plan the next meal, cooking the meals (I love cooking but am not very good at it and so it can get frustrating), worry about money, the car, gas, the next paycheck, books, tuition, next semester, next summer, next year, two years from now, my life in the future and everything else "grown ups" worry about. What defines a grown up? If it is someone that is living on their own, detached from their parents, above 18 and pays housing, feeding, and car bills then I am more of a grown up than some friends who are older than me. But I don't think that is the only thing that defines a grown up although you do learn a lot from such pains and mature quite a bit. Although I've been making some inappropriate comments about it saying I'm too poor for this or pointing out how someone is richer than I am which is definitely NOT needed, does NOT help, and makes everyone in the room feel awkward. You can't help what status you're born into. And yeah, money doesn't buy everything but can make life a lot easier. Sure would make buying books easier since they are so freaking expensive :) ahhh, the pains of a college student but there is really no reason to complain because there is always someone worse off than you that is thinking the same thought that you had towards someone who is of better status. Anyways, moving on, this picture was taken at my sister's wedding last year in November; don't know why I chose this one but it just stood out. I guess the fact that it is less and less often that our family gets together, the original 6 excluding husbands, which is apart of growing up. And you know, that's just life. In this aspect growing up sucks, cuz I don't get to see my family as often. The same can be applied to friends. You grow up, you move away, you talk less and less, you don't feel like you fit in any more, they've replaced you with other friends, you disconnect and everything that your friendship was built on came crumbling down, slowly at first and then crashing as time goes on. You know, that's just life too. I mean one can't be too bitter about it because the less you are around someone, the less you interact with them, the less you guys really talk, hang out and enjoy one another's company so you start to drift towards people around you that usually are very similar to that friend that is far away and that is where the replacement takes place. Unless that friendship is a true friendship where it stays no matter how far away the people are, but those are extremely rare, and a only a few lucky ones get to experience that. But that's life, life is a highway, a one way highway. So I've concluded that being a small group leader I should not get too attached to the people in it, be friends and be there for them but not attached; it'll be better that, healthier. That way I can focus on what's important, mostly school since that's why I'm at ODU in the first place: to get an education.
yeah, kind of a downer post but eh it happens. Today was really fun which is odd to be in a somewhat downer mood after it all. Late at night gets you thinking, that and i guess chic flicks and observations but eh, it's about growing up. That's just life.
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