Everything

Everything. Recently I just watched an really awesome skit about Jesus being our Everything and it was set to the song Everything by Lifehouse. I first received this video from Kasey Powell, so if you see her give her a word of thanks for finding it and sending it to everyone on leadership. I recently did thank her via email and she sent one back that kind of made me a little angry. Apparently I was the only one, on all of leadership team, to reply back, even though I didn't watch it until 3-4 weeks after I received it. She was saying how no one said anything about it and then IV used it for CRASH, without one word of thanks or credit to Kasey for finding it. Unbelievable! That IV would have the audacity to use something and claim the credit for it when they received it from an outside source. Not even a word of thanks or this was awesome or even a disagreement, nope, nada, zip. Any response is better than no response. Because with no response becomes assumptions and with assumptions comes mis-communications and that can just screw EVERYTHING up. I don't blame her for feeling down about that, I would feel taken advantaged of or used (not a good way used). It's not the point that she didn't get the credit but that her actions felt worthless, felt like they didn't matter, that no one cared. I know how that feels like but IV? That shouldn't come from there of all places....I'm really starting to think what IV is truly representing these days. But I can't say anything or speak up about it because I'm not really "involved". Something I'm taking harsh steps to change.
Anyways, that's not really what I wanted to write this blog about but just something that got me a little angry. Like i said before this video was pretty convicting for me, hard core. I don't have time to explain in depth about it now, but if you watch it you'll understand when I say that Jesus has not been my Everything for quite a while now and that I've been losing myself to the distractions of this world and am now just realizing it. I really encourage you to watch this video and just think about some of the distractions in your life that is keeping you from Christ. Especially watch the ending, it is the BEST PART. Is He a "category" you fall under or your life and source? Is your relationship with Him what drives your or your pride in your denomination, a name, a simple label? Is Jesus Christ your light? Is He your Everything?

Being computer retarded I couldn't figure out how to post the video on my blog so I'm posting a link to Steve's blog where he posted the video I sent him. Hope you like it.

http://web.mac.com/steven_jr/T&T/Blog/Entries/2007/10/9_Everything.html


P.S. Funny, a song called Revelation Song was done at my church a few Sundays ago with the huge choir and orchestra getting really into it and this song is about Christ being your everything. God was probably sending me a clue then, took me about 3 weeks to get it. Later yo.
I didn't realize this until after I wrote this but if you read Steve's blog, this one will look extremely similar. Funny.

Church

Today was church day; aka Sunday. Church was really nice this morning. The worship was pretty cool with one song just blowing me away, giving me goosebumps. They had the whole choir and orchestra, percussion and a band going on this one song and man was it good. The advantage of a big church is a huge choir with more instruments; thus more worship styles and songs that can be done. The sermon was good as well. He said a couple of things that made me extremely uncomfortable because one was close to heart and the other was a "convicting moment".
Oh, I was glad that he didn't make fun of catholics this time, made fun of baptists which was really funny, because I brought my "non-christian" friend Curby to church. If you've been keeping up on my blogs this name should sound familiar; indeed, she is the same non-christian friend that I had brought to Camp Rudolph and had mentioned in that blog post. Go re-read it if you forgot; it's a good one.
But the sermon was based on Luke 7:11-16 and about when God "visits" us or when you know He is around or something, I forgot the majority of it. But he said something about baptism and believer's baptism which just struck more than I thought it would cuz the way he was talking about seemed to be the situation I find myself in now. That sent me into thinking about baptism and what it means, how it is in the bible, what would happen if I did get "re-baptized", what my parents think, what my mom would think, how they would react, do I want to in the first place, do I want to join this church, do I want to become part of something where the majority of the time I don't belong, etc. Thinking of this and the other crap that's been going on for weeks now can really make feel burdened, so you can guess why I didn't like the pastor talking about that but is it something that God is trying to get me to think about? I can't see how this would help with anything nor further His kingdom or do His will but who knows, I'm blind compared to God with such things. It was good though because Katie and I made meatloaf and brownies tonight for dinner and a movie kind of shindig. While the meatloaf was cooking, about an hour, we were talking about the sermon and church and IV and how our lives are too busy and I asked her, why we feel called to that church? Why we keep going back when time after time we feel so unwelcomed there, when we know absolutely no one and in a big church the person you meet one sunday you'll probably never see again. I was making the point that a main draw for new comers to keep coming back to the church is if they feel welcomed and if they meet people and gain some kind of friendship with some of the members there. We don't have that yet we keep going back. Not only that, but we want to get involved, hard core involved like teaching Sunday school or working with high school, doing the college Sunday school class or the singles class or singing in the choir for Christmas and participating in all the events and all that junk. God has put us in that church for a reason; yet, we don't know why. Or we're just completely blind to the fact that we don't belong there, sometimes that feels very true. But who knows, I believe it is the first thing. Change can be very hard sometimes, not being as close to some of your best friends, seeing some friendships drift, not talking about God or faith or religion or "Godly, deep" stuff anymore, or encouragement or just not having enough time to just get together and catch up. But this stuff happens, everyone gets busy and start to not have time for any one so you start to drift and fade to the point of not talking and forgetting everything....this is the sin of time; being to busy for God, your relationship with Christ and your relationships with everyone else. Man that was a big tangent but I'm glad that I could just get out because holding it in, so no one will think that you're depressed or annoying or a burden, really makes it worse. But yeah, church was good, wish I could talk to some people about it but I guess I just have to work with what I got...mr. good ol' blogger here. Off to bed for me, running on an awesome trail in the morning in VA beach. :)

Orchids

I think flowers are pretty sweet. Like this one; it's so unlike your typical flower that you see. Everyone has seen a daffodil, rose, pansy, tulips, etc. all these common flowers that people immediately think of when you say the word flowers. But man, orchids would have to be my favorite so far, that and some other flower that I had to draw in art class but forgot its name.
I'm in this class called Practice of Science which is to teach future scientists or biology majors how to write scientific papers. It's quite different than your average paper. We had to write a research paper for yesterday's class and man, you had to cite everything. Not only that, every sentence had to be specific and straight to the point. No nice sounding sentences with imaginative adjectives and beautiful phrases and sentence structure: nope, straight to the point. If you don't she'll mark all over your paper with scratch outs and phrases like "what's the point for this sentences". My teacher is Dr. Tatyana Lobova, a young, quite attractive, professor from Russia who is teaching here at ODU and also several online graduate classes at Harvard, with one class group calling her in the middle of the class to reaffirm directions to a field trip to wherever they were going. Very smart and very, very passionate about flowers and evolution. Yesterday's class was about 5 people; the other half didn't show up cuz it was paper turn in day. No surprise there. But at the end of the class the whole class, including the teacher, started joking about papers and turning in papers and the like which made the atmosphere more comfortable; makes you less afraid of the teacher when she gives you comments or you have to meet with her concerning your paper.
Afterwards she invited us to go look at some orchids in the greenhouse which is currently under construction on ODU's campus and is not open to the public yet. So a few of us went to go see some orchids, me included cuz I've never seen one in real life. There was this one orchid which has a stem like structure that was 8 inches long which contains the nectar and pollen that is needed for this flower to reproduce. She went on to explain how this flower specifically evolved to have a moth, with an 8 inch probiscus which is essentially an 8 inch tongue, be the one species that can pollinate this flower. Like I said before she is very passionate about evolution and flowers; when she looks at this she sees nothing but evolution for being the sole cause for this event to happen. I see it and see nothing but evidence for God and is unique, awesome creation. Of course we're both biased with our opposite views on such subjects but it's interesting how she portrays evolution as a living "being" constantly working on creation while I see it as God's awesome creation. Evolution is god to her; God is god to me. I think it would be interesting to see what her opinions on religion would be in the first place but maybe some other time. Overall it was cool to see this teacher become more of a person, to see something that she loves doing and loves teaching about and "open" up a little bit to show that she's not just a hired hand to grade our stuff and determine our passing and failing. Because when you're in a class of 200 or so you see the teacher as just a teacher with out really any personal attributes but on a smaller class basis like this class you start to see the person more and that makes the learning environment a lot more enjoyable and more comfortable.
but yeah, concerning evolution, I have a interesting view on it with God being in the center of it all which I got into a slight disagreement/argument in my small group with a very brilliant person over the controversy of evolution. Something I've been getting use to, being one of a few Christians in my biology classes, especially my evolution class. The more I study science, the more I see God, the more I want to talk about God and especially Christ. Maybe being a scientist is a way I can do that, only God knows. :)

Mountians

What an awesome freaking picture. Man I just want to go there and run it. That's the runner in me, to see mountains or really cool hills or fields and run them. It's weird, I get more out of it by running through it than walking, which it should be the opposite because when you walk through it you get to soak in more due to the fact that you are going at a slower pace. Nope! Not for me! I gotta run through it; it's more lively, adventurous, action packed: nature seems to come alive when I run. Anyways, yeah mountains. See this mountain is a "good" mountain where it's beautiful, an adventure, a new turn in your life that will be fun to go through, like running up the mountain where it is just blissful where God is unmistakably
clear and you can see Him with no problem. A bad mountain is a like a struggle, a period in your life when everything just hits the fan and spirals downwards. Maybe it doesn't have to be going downwards but upwards, just something is hard at the moment and it's hard to get over it, to move through it, to struggle through that battle your facing and winning. It's a lot harder to see God when you're barely crawling up the mountain, although it's a lot easier to remember Him during your time of need; not so much when life is going your way.
Anyways, that little spurt of babble came from a song i just listened to called "You don't have to move that mountain" by Nickel Creek. Today was definitely like a little hill with sharp rocks embedded in it. Basically it was a rough day, well rough week in general so hmmm, that hill got a little bit bigger but not a huge mountain. But today, ouuuu weee, it was tough, tougher than usual i should say. Beginning with last night, 545-9 work, 9-10 dinner and research paper typing (dinner was Alfredo and spaghetti sauce spagetti), 10-1030 late night run, 1040-1115 research paper, 1120-bed. 500am wake up, 530-1010 work, 1030-`1130 geology class and quiz, 1130-1215 research paper,1215- 1245 frisbee, 110-300 research paper, 3-4 class, 4-7 typing on this and studying for geography exam, 7-10 class, 10-1030 maybe a run. So in summary it was one freaking hectic day with me either studying, typing, or working. These past couple of days really makes me want to have a good weekend; i understand now the phrase work hard, play hard. While on my run last night, Steve freaking jumped out of the bushes and scared the crap out of me thinking he was some kind of thief or something. Haha, that was funny; a fun interruption during a stressful, hard day, although he started conversation and i was like, uhhh you chose a weird time to talk about stuff-in the middle of my run, huh, hahaha. Nah it was cool,scary, but funny although on the way back i almost threw up the dinner a couple of times which was not cool; never eat spaghetti 30 before your run.
I think i'll go for another late night run tonight, those are fun. Seems more serene and tranquil. So Fall Breaks is coming up, freaking heck yes! Upside: No classes, little hw, lots of free time, time to check out that trail Shane gave me directions too (Any one want to come???!!!!)
Downside: Work (not a lot though), everyone is leaving except like Katie and I, and I have a house to myself. Hmm I think i'm going to go find that mountain and run it!

Side note: I've been playing Volleyball almost on a weekly basis with the ryan's and travis. Travis and I are on a team, we win a few games but have been getting better as vb partners. Anyways, i say 'freaking a' a lot when i mess up or over hit the ball or something and the other day when we were playing i caught him saying it, and then saying it a lot. that was funny, interesting how the people you interact as such an impact whether you recognize it or not.

StressTrEsSstressStrESsSTreSSSTRESS

The down side of college: stress. I have terrible time management skills and I'm starting to suffer from it. Today is the day when I will hopefully end that. Where is all the stress coming from?
1. School. Taking 17 credits with all of them science classes save for one is pretty stressful. Not having a work schedule or routine down does not help either; just makes things worse. So much for freshmen year when I could just study a few days before the tests to get A's. Change, I need to change.

2. Jobs. I currently work at ODU for the Alumni association calling people for money. This job isn't that stressful, very boring and sometimes just ridiculous, but it's easy pay for what you do. Talking for 3 hours straight can get a bit hefty but you learn to become a robot and say the same thing over and over again. The second job is the coffee shop on at the Heart Hospital where everyone else from IV has worked. The reason for this add on is to try and determine which of these two jobs is more beneficial for my schedule and money making. If I keep pull it off I"m going to try and do both with one being entirely in the morning with the other job entirely in the evening. I need the money for next semester and household expenses so not having a job at all just will not due. Also, if the coffee shop job is a lot better than the phone calling one than I'll quit the calling job so I can start going to IV large group aka Crash. Since I never go, I never see anyone nor meet anyone new. Some new people at the retreat have never seen me nor knew that I was a small group leader. So not going to crash makes me feel less involved but I'm still involved, so it's a worthless feeling to have.
3. Small group leader. I'm having a hard time to meet up with my co-leader and trying to prepare for myself small group, well I would like to personally prepare better than I have been. But I shouldn't let school, jobs and other stressful activities keep me from spending time with God or diving into the word because I'll start drifting away from Him without even knowing it.

It's a stressful time now but it'll be over soon; just gotta discipline myself to buckle down figure out a schedule and do my work because I'm missing out on some really cool Godly stuff that 's happening now due to my busy schedule which is not cool. So goodbye stress, I'm done with you. Time for me to conquer you and move on cuz I'm missing out on God because of it.

"That doesn't kill me, can only make me stronger..." -Stronger by Kanye West. Usually not a fan at all with Kanye but like this song.

Fall Break

Ouuuweee. Talk about one fun weekend, two in a row...that's pretty sweet. Friday I drove to the rents house in Bburg at around 1230 getting there at around 5 with my Eldest sister coming in an hour later and my other sister meeting us at my brother's football game. He's in the marching band so we all went to cheer him on and not necessarily care about the game although some very nice plays were made by Blacksburg. When I say cheer, I mean screaming and yelling to the point of embarrassing total strangers that are around us and especially embarrassing my mom. hahaahha, yeah when the band marches on the field Kelly, Kasey, and I yell and scream our hardest with my dad whistling really loudly. We usually get Jon to smile or roll his eyes but it's awesome to be supportive in such a small way. We did it at his band festival on saturday as well but we caused him to mess up and he didn't turn around on the right beat so hahahah that was funny.
It's funny how this weekend came to be with me promising my brother that I would come home to play Halo 3 with him and then Kasey saying she was coming that weekend and us two convincing Kelly to come that weekend as well. Funny how Halo 3 got a family reunion going. Yeah, it's sad that I would drive 4 and a half hours just to play a video game but it's not just playing a video game but spending time with the little brother which doesn't happen that often. Plus hanging with the family is always, always freaking awesome. It's why I hold family and terms like brother and sister seriously.
I did not get to finish beating halo with Jonathan which sucks cuz that was the original reason I went there with us staying up til around 3 or 4 with me getting up at 7 to leave Bburg by 8 to get to work on time by 2. I hate having to impede family time with such a lame job like phone calling which does nothing beneficial, well kind of. But glad I got to go cuz I won't be going home for Fall Break due to alas! work. Got some much needed supplies like my water bottle, clothes, dvd player and posters so my room can doesn't look like a rapist's room anymore, who some people have mentioned that it does. These posters and a Jesus name one should take care of that problem.....hahaha.
I think the next thing I want to learn about are car parts. Whilst washing my car this weekend I was talking to my dad about taking care of my car which really motivated me to learn about how it works. Really like talking to my dad about stuff. Hope life is sweller than ever and I'm off to eat some dinnaaaaaaaa.

Retreat, Church, Family

I know have Freaking internet!!!! I've been wanting to write this blog since Sunday evening but was unable to because I did not have any internet at all; none, zip zero, couldn't even borrow it but now we do and it's awesome. No more half hoping for internet today.
The retreat was this past weekend which was awesome. This retreat and the retreat at Camp Rudolph last year are, by far, my favorite retreats. It was weird seeing the change from being a new person last year at the retreat, not knowing anyone and then being a leader at this year's retreat making sure that everyone felt known. I try to make sure that people feel that they belong because feeling new or feeling like you don't belong can feel a bit daunting and down. But man, it was a great retreat with tons of awesome times from eating with different people during meal times, to Frisbee, to volleyball, to the Saturday night worship, and bonfire...etc. It has been a real long time I've had something like that and it was good to be in that atmosphere again since I never go to Crash now due to work. The most memorable of happenings was Saturday night where we had a great time for reflection and worship with Katie and Jason singing worship songs with the C-team, Shane, Dawn, Jeremy(the intern), and Jeremy(friend of Shane's and Dawn's from Church) were in the back of the building where people could come back there and talk to them and pray with them which I thought was an awesome idea and loved it. So people dispensed to where they felt called and I was sitting in the row just thinking about stuff and saw my good friend Curby sitting in a row by herself thinking as well.
I had invited Curby to go on the retreat and eventually "convinced" her but I think it was more of the Holy Spirit leading her, anyways, she's not a Christian and came to the retreat. What was even more amazing to me was that she was in my small group for the weekend which was just God written all over it. So she's sitting there that Saturday night and me, being compelled or lead by the Holy Spirit went beside her to pray for her. I've never done that with any of my non Christian friends and it was just really really amazing and spirit filled. So intense in fact I almost cried when I began to pray for her but i was like, " pull it together, she needs you to be strong...." but anyways, that was really intense and cool that I was apart of that, that God let me be apart of that. So the prayer ended and she was crying and I gave her a hug and made her laugh alittle, you know it's good to laugh after such intense spiritual moments ;) After that I went to the back to talk to Shane, again feeling compelled to. That was really cool; we talked about what just happened with me and Curby, how awesome that is, and how the Holy Spirit was definitely in that room tonight and when I was talking about this I look over and I see tears in his eyes (sorry Shane if this embarrasses you but it was such an awesome moment for me to be in and I just wanted to share it :) which caused me to just let go and tears came streaming down and there we were, two adults joyfully crying about God and His work. It was one of the most memorable moments in my life so far, and when I look back at it I just can't get over how awesome God is and how He works, constantly working, constantly moving, constantly loving. Just being apart of God's work is just incredible and unbelievable even if it's such intense spirit filled nights such as that one or just being involved in church or missions or being a friend to someone that needs a friend; it's awesome and we both agreed that night that we want to spend the rest of our lives doing that.
Anyways, it was freaking AWESOME! Just like last year's retreat, but both were completely different awesomeness and growth; kind of weird looking back on that. In other news, Katie and I are really trying to be involved in the church we have been going to, Liberty Baptist Church. We went to their huge festival or carnival on Sunday which was awesome that they had it and the idea is great but since we were new to the church and didn't really know anyone except like one person we felt like we were on the outside. Katie put it nicely, "It's like one big family reunion" with me adding, "But we're not in the family" So it was kind of a let down but it's a good thing to feel new again that way we can try and make sure that no one feels unwelcome or what not. But this one church member, while we were touring Kidville which is basically the children's Sunday school wing of the church that looks like Dr. Suess amusement park, a lady over heard me kidding about teaching Sunday school and one thing lead to another and she hooked us up with the coordinator of the whole thing or something and now we just finished our applications to be involved in the church. Interesting, how God works. Hopefully this time next year we won't feel as new like at Camp Rudolph how I was new last year and a year later made sure that people were known this year. The lady at the church, I think her name is Sarah Mullins or something, but she was very interested in us and interested in us helping which felt really cool, very nice lady hopefully see her again or something. But man, very great weekend overall, being in the top 10 of weekends in my life by far.
I never really took this phrase seriously but I'm really excited to how God is going to use me, Katie, Curby, and Intervarsity overall. That's a nice thought to have.

Wine, Cocktails, Shots and Beer

This is something that has also been on my mind even though it has relatively nothing to do with theology. A good break and those who have been reading you've probably guessed that there has been a lot on my mind. Thanks again for reading it and also for saying that you look forward to reading this kind of stuff. Makes a guy feel loved when people take interest in what you're thinking.

Just want to clarify that this blog isn't about bashing people who drink or whatever, I don't do that.....or at least I do it to your face :) haahha, just kidding. But this has been a very controversial topic among some churches and Christians alike. I know in my family we are divided on this issue. So it has been on my mind since this the summer and especially now at college where drinking is one of the few things to do around here. But first confessions, I did drink alcohol illegally in this country once and then drank in Germany when I went there through the exchange program; never got drunk but not saying that as an excuse or to soften up what I did. My views on it now are quite different then my views in high school. Well, Biblically there is nothing that says "You should not drink alcohol" although the Bible does warn us about drunkness and to not participate it. There are several reasons why I choose not to drink which I won't mind sharing with you in person but for now, I want to get you thinking about this. Because you have Christians saying that it is a sin and no one should participate in it and then you have Christians using the excuse that Jesus drank and so can I or some just find no problem with it. For the first group, I would like them to point out where in the Bible it says that drinking is a sin. I know where it says that drunkness is a sin but the act of drinking; not so sure about and that's where the controversy comes in. Do I judge those who have different opinions than I do? No, I try not too. How can I when I did the same thing in the past? But I will say what I believe about it and my opinion on this subject which several people take as judging, which is not my intent nor motive, for what gain is there in doing so? And the only time I think when Jesus actually drank something alcoholic was during the last supper which doesn't really count due to the holiness of the event and situation leading to the sacrament of communion. But yeah, drinking. I think it's something that Christians at least think about and what they believe from reading the scriptures. However, I've heard apple martinis are especially tasty and quite delectable.....haha;)

Confirmation

This is just a short follow up blog from yesterday's. I finally finished that Methodist theology literature and confirmation was brought up which I thought I would write down so I could remember it and just to give you ( and me) some light on the Methodist beliefs.

So Baptists believe that baptism is the profession of faith, saying they believe in Christ as their lord and savior who died for their sins and bridges the gap between the sinner and God, etc. etc. etc., so they get baptized when they make this commitment, this choice in their life, whatever.

Methodist do that too but it's called confirmation. It's not joining the church, that's what essentially happens with infant baptism along with God's grace coming into your life at that point, but a profession of faith almost exactly like the baptist baptism. Basically Methodist confirmation = Baptist baptism.

Also something I forgot to emphasize is that Methodists don't believe baptism is required to be Christian nor to live a life of faith but believe that it is the time when God's grace becomes apart of the child's life and well I'll just quote it, "The saving grace made available through Christ's atonement is the only hope of salvation for persons of any age. In baptism infants enter into a new life in Christ as children of God and members of the Body of Christ. The baptism of an infant incorporates him or her into the community of faith and nurture, including membership in the local church." I failed to mention that in the other blog. So with my personal theology, experience with God and interpretation of the Bible I would have to believe that baptism is a profession of faith rather than an entrance for God's grace. However, the issue still stand from the other blog about having to be re-baptized to join the church which I'm not quite sure I want to get re-baptized since, 1. Already baptized and made my profession of faith 2. it's disrepectful toward my parents and their beliefs 3. Family, hmmm, discontent on changing denominations to put it lightly. More stuff to pray about.

Baptism

Recently, I've been reading more of what Methodists believe i.e. Methodist theology. Well, I got started on this subject of baptism when I asked about joining the church and the response was that I would be "encouraged" to be baptized even though I was already baptized in the Methodist Church. So I've been diving into what baptism is and what the Methodist and Baptist believe baptism is and what it means. For the Methodists, infant baptism is most common, representing God's saving Grace bestowed upon those baptized which is later affirmed through faith later in life. Basically, God's grace comes into the infant's life when they are baptized; God claims the child in his grace during baptism, initiating the spiritual and faithful life of that child but that child must respond to God's grace through faith over time. Also, it is a statement that the child will be taught and raised among his or her Christian parents and the Christian community, i.e. the church. This would explain why Methodists believe that you can fall from grace because being baptized is being in God's grace and when you don't profess a faith for Christ, you don't respond to God's grace, you fall away into sin losing the effect of baptism and thus "falling from God's grace" or losing salvation. Baptists believe that baptism is a profession of faith by the person that is being baptized; a proclamation that they believe in Christ as their Lord and Savior and that they will live their life in faith with the baptism being a representation of the old life dying away and being washed anew and born again. The more I look into Methodist theology the more I disagree with it and the more concerned I get.

You might not think that's a big deal but being raised Methodist it's hard to just toss away what you were raised with. It's something I'm struggling with, that and a theology and religion but i heard a really good sermon about that and a talk with someone about that which I'll describe later but this whole Methodist thing isn't looking good and I just don't know how I feel about it knowing if I change "denominations" or whatever, the rents will feel extremely let down and disappointed. I don't know, but something to think about and pray about. haha, if I did join the church that would REALLY flip their lid. So baptism, yeah, I think I believe in the Baptist view cuz that's how I see it in the Bible but it when it comes to it, I guess it really doesn't matter.

Ants Marching

This is the title of one of my favorite songs by Dave Matthews Band. Yes, Steve, I know you hate it and hate everything Dave and it all sounds the same and you joke about every time you hear it or see it or whatever, but this song got me thinking about how people interact with each other on a daily basis, so I'll save the pain of listening to it and just say what I it reminded me of. For everyone else that reads this, feel free to listen to it. It's pretty awesome unless you're Steve and Andrew then it freaking sucks :)
Here's my analysis of the song, so a guy wakes up and does his regular routine: brushing his teeth, eating, etc. the same old routine day in and day out. His wife or girlfriend, significant other, is thinking that they live together and yet no nothing about each other, thinking about what they other one is thinking without ever saying a word and they become distant by the day. So the guy gets upset and goes to mommy whom helps him forget about his problems and he wishes that he was a little kid again playing under the table. Essentially the dude runs away from the problem instead of trying to work through it; he ignores the problem hoping it will just go away. Problems never just go away. So the song continues in the broader sense that people are constantly in a hurry passing by one another no time to talk or say hello or get to know one another. There's no time, no time for relationships because they are too hard and too time consuming so everyone are like ants marching, focusing only on the destination of travel, the work that needs to be done, or just themselves that they have no interest in others. That's basically the song's meaning and it's pretty interesting cuz it's true. When walking on campus I notice that I am one of those "ants marching" with out giving a care in the world about the person walking in front of me or beside me. I'm just too focused on the next destination, the next place, the next phase which reminded me of the last IV night last year when someone gave that kind of talk about how he would always look at the next phase or the next chapter in life having to get through the current one to get to the next instead of slowing down and looking at the present and what's happening now and slowing down to get to know people, opening up or whatever, and how rewarding that is. So thinking about this I started playing a game at school while walking to my classes. People walking the other direction i'll make eye contact with and if they look my way I make myself say "Hey". This is extremely out of my comfort zone but I just wanted to see what would happen if someone they didn't know actually took an interest in knowing them, granted I really don't have time to make an hour long conversation cuz I do have class to attend but I just thought it would be fun to see where that leads. Isn't that what IV's about, community, getting to know one another? Anyways, hasn't happened so far, got a lot of weird looks like "who is this kid saying hi randomly" haha, oh well gotta spice life up while walking to class.

Had a good convo with Shane the other day but one question he asked just stuck in my head, "You don't have many close friends, do you?" It was a good question to what we were talking about and it's good to remember who those true friends are, especially when they are going through some rough spots or when you are. So slow down a bit and look around, you might miss out on something good if you don't.

Science vs. God

Evolution states the man came from a common ancestor as monkeys, not that we came from monkeys but great-great-great granddaddy also spawned monkeys. I'm in this evolution class for being a bio major and it's interesting to hear the professor, whom is extremely intelligent, teach evolution as it is fact; however, evolution is just a theory with major missing links. It's a bad misconception that everyone makes when thinking of Darwin who was a religious man but he seemed to forgot that man was created in the image of God. Man, not monkeys. It's funny that many scientists try everything in their power to try and disprove the existence of God; thus, the big bang theory, the start of the universe, and other theories to try and explain life. To study science is to study God's creation and if you try ignore the creator you're going to miss out on some key points in the creation.
For instance, how can the Earth be in such a specific location in the solar system at such a specific angle, in such a specific rotation and revolution(it's orbit around the sun) to support life? How could that be random? It's the only planet, moon, star, etc. that can support life and will ever support life.

Moving on...I watched the Prince of Egypt the other night which is a portrayal of the Moses story; Moses leading the Hebrews out of tyranny and bondage. You know the who plagues and "Let my people Go" thing. We've all heard it and probably have the story memorized: Christian and non-Christian. I was watching the History Channel a few months ago about Moses and the Exodus. They tried to explain, with scientific evidence, the 10 plagues God sent upon Egypt and the classic pillar of fire and the parting of the Red Sea. I was kind of interested to see how they were going to try and pull this off. For example, Water to Blood they said that rare times the Nile soot will appear to be red; blood like......WEAK, not buying it. With the locusts you could explain with science because locusts are insects that move from place to place devouring everything. Famine is also explained by science here. With the Pillar of fire they explained that Moses would light a torch like structure, it was pretty tall, that looked like a pillar of fire and during the day would kind of put it out so it looked like a pillar of smoke. Historically, it was common for generals to lead their armies with such methods which explains the pillar of fire and pillar of smoke described in the Bible. What I really found interesting was that the parting of the sea wasn't really a parting but more like an extremely low tide that exposed a marsh strip to the other shore which would allow passage by foot but not by chariot; thus, when the Egyptians moved in after the Hebrews they got stuck in the marsh and high tide came in and drowned them all.

With these explanations one could argue that God did nothing. I mean, that's what it sounds like when seeing these plagues in scientific explanation. Maybe that was how it really was, I don't know I wasn't there. However, I do believe that God performs miracles and signs and in Exodus it clearly states that He would perform signs and wonders. I sometimes think that we sometimes de-glorify God when trying to explain God and all His wonders. In this case, the History Channel was doing a production that, in my opinion, de-gloried God; taking all the power, the wonder, and majesty of God when explaining these plagues on human terms. God can't be explained completely on human terms; He's too perfect for that. The Bible states that He brought upon the plagues, the signs, the wonders, the sea parted with a wall of water on the left and right, and a pillar of fire to lead them by night and a pillar of smoke to lead them by day. And I believe that. It goes against every single natural law ever developed but God doesn't necessarily follow nature's law does He? He's God. Which I think these explanations seem to degrade that point. That He is God. Which is odd, because He brought upon the plagues in the first place to show the people of Israel and Egypt who He is...God ( Exodus 6:6-7; 7:5). Powerful, perfect, committed, mysterious God. And I just disagree with explanations like these that undermine and degrade that. God is God. There's no avoiding that. So History channel, say it how it is instead of taking God out of the picture.

Thought for future blog, maybe,....notice that God speaks personally to people in the Old Testament and almost doesn't say a word in the New Testament.....more to come on that

Intervarsity Christian Fellowship

Awww look at all of those smiling faces............ well except for Joel who never seems to like smiling in pictures but will in real life. That was taken at the Leadership retreat at Shane's parents house in some place Virginia near Lake Gaskin. Those are the leaders for this year including small group leaders, C-team, large group and small group coordinators, a worship leader and other positions that I forgot.
That was a good weekend filled with food, swimming, catch phrase, and a good movie followed by good discussions. So that's IV Leadership that will shape and impact kid's lives on campus and shape what IV will look like. So much change has already happened and it is great. More events planned for college kids to do and Crash taking a different route than before. Both seem to be a big hit with CTF bringing in almost 70 people and Crash itself bringing in more new people than ever in the past. Shane's very happy as the numbers keep growing.
So small groups started this week with my starting last night. One person showed up and he's in the picture above so no new people thus far. However, there's still a lot of time and hopefully some guys will pick up the courage to go to one even to just try it out but even if my small group is just us three then I'll still going to give it my all and devout most of my time in those two other guys. Really want it to be bigger but just going to have wait and see what God does. Pretty exciting to rely on faith instead of knowledge, makes life more of an adventure, a journey than a calculation. Makes life a lot more frustrating as well but overall it's better, more fun, and just good. You never really know what God is going to do next. Kind of scary but that's a tangent. So last night was small group and so us three guys just walked to Webb cuz one of us was hungry and just sat on the wall next to the Lion and just hung out and talked about well, the Bible and church history and the history behind the Bible and really random topics.
Made me realize how much I don't read the Bible nor know anything about it but this is a good kind of not knowing cuz it really makes me want to learn about the history behind the Bible and the writers of the Bible. It's not a "i need knowledge, seeking out knowledge just for knowledge sake" but to seek out God in doing so, seeking out the perspectives of God, seeking out Jesus kind of seeking for knowledge. That probably didn't make any sense but that's fine. For example, I had no idea that Paul and Barnabas had a falling out, a disagreement and totally went their separate ways never talking to each other again over the concept of Predestination. Barnabas believed in the "black and white predestination where you were either chosen or not and even if you think you are chosen you still might not be" while Paul was more like "uh, it's not quite like that..." so I thought that was interesting. I hope I never have that bad of a falling out with such a close friend although it has happened in the past and there have been some close calls presently but man, that must really suck. But I went on another tangent, so overall IV looks promising for this year and just hoping that small groups becomes a bigger hit.

Anger Management

So I played kickball today, showed up an hour late cuz I was at my sister's house and didn't leave til late, but showed up in enough time to play at least a half hour worth. It was pretty fun; haven't played kickball in a long time and didn't do to well but still it was a good time. There was just one "drama" incident that I wish was avoided but it happened and you gotta just move on. A kick was made and it went through the trees and a person on my team caught it and everyone ran in as it was the third out. However, the whole game they had been playing that if it did go through the trees and was caught it would not be counted at a catch. I was not there when the rule were laid which explains what I said. So the kicker gets extremely upset, very angry, like this guy in the picture except extremely verbal. And he's been known to do so, well that is the number one thing is known for: his extreme temper. So the story continues with him yelling obscenities and making sarcastic/a-hole comments which I reacted to. So then we kind of yell at each other and he leaves feeling pissed and very angry. Kind of like a small child would do when he or she would not get their own way; pouting and storming off. Granted I should not have said what I said knowing how he gets, even though in my opinion it wasn't anything offensive nor obscene, but was taken as that and thus, nothing was solved and now I'm known to be a complete jerk and a-hole in this kid's opinion. But I'm going to have to apologize to him later on the field for I will definitely be seeing him weekly and that's not a good image of a Christian either.

Gym was closed that was a bummer but I got a great run in so that was a good overcompensater. Hmm what else did I do this weekend, CTF which was a complete success considering numbers; about 70-80 people showed up but unfortunately that made game play extremely hectic and confusing and no fun at all being the one having to tell everyone on my team the rules and not to break the rules and people cheating and getting frustrated and crap like that. But next time will definitely have to be smaller like 20-30 which will be a great game...so look for announcements. Played Resistance on Co-op for the first time and wasn't as bad as I was against seasoned veterans who like to pray on kids that have never played before but it was a ton fun and being video game/tv withdrawal made it more fun than it would be usually. Sunday was Busch day with the family and then today. So I guess that's it uh, just filling up space now and I'm out. gotta cook me some dinner.

Capture the Flag

P C E G
L A R A
A P U L
Y T F
I E
N H
G T

E
N
O S I !
U A D
G
H


*Bored after class you will get you the above, wish I had a mac so it would look cooler and look like the picture but then I would never get anything done cuz I'd be playing on it all the time. Heck yes for CTF!

Angels vs. Animals

Animals

VERSUS

Angels...



I finished a book last week called SEX GOD and it's all about PORN! Just kidding, it's about relationships with each other and what God intended for those relationships. It mainly focuses of dating relationships and marriage but does through in some friend ones from time to time. Probably not the most appropriate book for me read currently being neither in a dating relationship nor married but it gave some great perspectives on such material and I just liked what it had to say. I think one of the biggest chapters that stuck out to me was this one. Angels versus Animals. I'll do my best to sum it up but if you want a better explanation check the book out.
So in the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. In the heavens were angels. God created angels first. The God created the earth with a suitable habitat so life could live. So God created animals. First angels, then animals. Then God created Adam. Then of course Eve. The point to see is that God created angels, animals, and humans all differently, not the same, not for one to become like the other but for each group to be what they were created to be.

Physical=Sexual

Angels are souls with no bodies, well as this book describes. Angels are all spiritual with no physical/sexual; all soul with no body. Angels can't indulge in physical pleasures such as affection, touch, sex, eating, etc because they have no body.

Animals are all body with no soul. Animals are all physical/sexual with no soul; all soul no body. Animals can't indulge in spiritual pleasures of salvation, prayer, relationships, love, worship, etc.

Humans are bodies with souls; souls housed in bodies. Humans are spiritual and sexual able to have a relationship with God and enjoy the pleasures of the body; pleasures that God gave to humans. Pleasures that have been taken out of context, taken advantage of, and that have been obsessively abused.

See here's the problem in the world today. Humans are either trying to be animals or angels. Their are a lot who are trying to be human, but the majority of the world and especially our culture are trying to be animals, with a majority of Christians trying to be angels.

What does it look like for a human to be an animal? Well, when they have no spirituality, no relationship with God and seek only the pleasures of the body whether it be sex, eating,drinking, whatever. When we only focus on the physical aspect of life, the sexual aspect of life we are trying to be animals that only eat, sleep, and reproduce. We hear several of these phrases like "He's such a sex animal" or "She's a drinking machine" whatever. We were created for more than that. Not to be animals but to be human; to not only focus on the sexual aspect of life but also the spiritual.
Trying to be an angel is the opposite. These are Christians that only focus on the spiritual and to not indulge in any of the physical gifts from God. These are people that won't ever kiss anyone unless it is their spouse, afraid of touch and affection, afraid to be physically close or do anything physical even if it is a kiss on a check to a friend on their wedding night. This extreme is just as harmful as the animal extreme and again, humans were not created for this. We're not angels, we're humans with both the spiritual and physical.
The funny thing is that the thing that is considered a sin the animal extreme, when people seek out physical pleasures only such as sex before marriage, drinking alcohol, eating gluttonously, being lazy and doing nothing all the time, etc. This is what the generally opinion of the church thinks is sinful. It is but they are also missing the other extreme, the angel extreme which is just as sinful, just as destructive, just as harmful. You barely hear any sermons about that; about how avoiding physical affection in a relationship will definitely cause a division and ultimately harm and how it is sinful. Why is it sinful? Because we weren't created to be angels nor animals, but to be human. To have a relationship with God and with each other and to enjoy the physical gifts that God has given when God intended them to happen for instance to have sex when married. For I believe that when you're in a dating relationship or married it is the physical/sexual pleasures that shows and celebrates the spiritual, the relationship. But that's just me, the book it's interesting, I didn't agree with everything in it but thought this chapter was pretty interesting and right on.

Two Face

Ah the Two Face. The Infamous villain of Batman with literally two faces and a copper coin. The Two Face, or I should say, Harvey Dent was the youngest law attorney to ever serve Gotham City. During one trail against a notorious crime lord, Sal "Boss" Maroni, he presented the court with Maroni's two-headed coin with Maroni's fingerprints on it; irrevocably evidence for Maroni's imminent doom. Thus, Maroni in his rage threw a bottle of sulfuric acid onto Dents left hand and the left side of his face. Due to his hideous appearance he scratched one side of the two headed coin and has flipped this coin to decide if he will work for evil or for good. I like how it takes a coin flip toss to decide if he will work for good or evil; he doesn't seem to have very strong beliefs if that is the case.
So Why Batman? Well, I'm not really a Batman fan. I do put him above Superman but below Spiderman in ranking of my favorite Superheros. So Two Face, hmmm....you probably know where this is going. Yup, two face people in the modern world today. I've had several conversations with people about their interaction with two face people; people who claim to be one way in a setting and completely different in another or says one thing that they believe and turns around and does the opposite. I will label such persons as morphers; someone who morphs according the setting around them. Now it seems to me that morphers morph between settings and people because the beliefs they supposedly believe in aren't strong enough for them to act accordingly to those beliefs. Or they really don't believe in it and that's why they act the opposite. These morphers, or two face people or fake (i'm going to include gossiping in this cuz that is the main activity of morphers), hurt a lot of people that they interact with. Some do it meaningfully and others do it with out knowing. Now the biggest example I can see for morphers are sadly some Christians at least those are the ones I have come to know, pretty well. I think such fakeness is disgusting and pathetic and it hurts those you are fake too. Because believe it or not they might just like you for who you are. But that's a wee risk you have to take with any friendship and oh man, if you try to be fake in a deep dating relationship God help you. That is the worst time to be fake. Now I can understand where being a morpher comes from, you're afraid of being rejected, you want to be accepted, you want to have friends or be liked or whatever. But as a Christian none of those things should hold true. Why? Because the God does not reject you, accepts you for who you are, is the best "friend" you could ever have and not only loves you but likes you a ton! More than any one you know. So just be yourself. Stand up for what you believe in. Don't go live a double standard life because that hurts people and turns them away from such good communities like IV and Church. Now everyone is a hypocrite sometime in their lives but to be one ALL the time is unacceptable. That is one thing that I want to try and root out of IV that and gossip which is a HUGE problem in IV which is downright pathetic and abhorrent. How are new IVers going to feel when they see some people gossiping about other people in IV or see people being fake to one another? Their going to walk right out the door without even giving the real purpose of IV a chance, the real gift that IV can provide: community. Real community, now it doesn't have to be everyone in IV, it could be like 3 people or so, which is like me, but real community. That is why I like IV so much, that is why I still continue to participate in it and do activities like chuck fruit chews at kids with flyers on them ;) Because I want them to find the community that I found and still have, at IV. And being fake or a morpher will definitely turn people away from that, not just freshmen but even seniors and I'm not down with that. But I try to see past the fakeness and see what is driving them to morph. Can I change them? No, I believe only God can do that, but I can help them or at least be the change that I want to see. In otherwise not be fake, nor gossip.

Tonight is IV's first night of the year or I should say CRASH. Last night we went to the area right outside Webb and did some propaganda. I would have to say that if you see a Big COME CRASH WITH IV, that would be by me. Yeah, I know, perfection at its greatest. Naw, I'm just joshing with ya, cuz if i was serious I would be fake.

I don't want to grow up, I'm a Toys'R'Us kid.....

Right now, I hate growing up. I hate being a "grown up". Having to pay for bills, pay for groceries, worry about the next meal, plan the next meal, cooking the meals (I love cooking but am not very good at it and so it can get frustrating), worry about money, the car, gas, the next paycheck, books, tuition, next semester, next summer, next year, two years from now, my life in the future and everything else "grown ups" worry about. What defines a grown up? If it is someone that is living on their own, detached from their parents, above 18 and pays housing, feeding, and car bills then I am more of a grown up than some friends who are older than me. But I don't think that is the only thing that defines a grown up although you do learn a lot from such pains and mature quite a bit. Although I've been making some inappropriate comments about it saying I'm too poor for this or pointing out how someone is richer than I am which is definitely NOT needed, does NOT help, and makes everyone in the room feel awkward. You can't help what status you're born into. And yeah, money doesn't buy everything but can make life a lot easier. Sure would make buying books easier since they are so freaking expensive :) ahhh, the pains of a college student but there is really no reason to complain because there is always someone worse off than you that is thinking the same thought that you had towards someone who is of better status. Anyways, moving on, this picture was taken at my sister's wedding last year in November; don't know why I chose this one but it just stood out. I guess the fact that it is less and less often that our family gets together, the original 6 excluding husbands, which is apart of growing up. And you know, that's just life. In this aspect growing up sucks, cuz I don't get to see my family as often. The same can be applied to friends. You grow up, you move away, you talk less and less, you don't feel like you fit in any more, they've replaced you with other friends, you disconnect and everything that your friendship was built on came crumbling down, slowly at first and then crashing as time goes on. You know, that's just life too. I mean one can't be too bitter about it because the less you are around someone, the less you interact with them, the less you guys really talk, hang out and enjoy one another's company so you start to drift towards people around you that usually are very similar to that friend that is far away and that is where the replacement takes place. Unless that friendship is a true friendship where it stays no matter how far away the people are, but those are extremely rare, and a only a few lucky ones get to experience that. But that's life, life is a highway, a one way highway. So I've concluded that being a small group leader I should not get too attached to the people in it, be friends and be there for them but not attached; it'll be better that, healthier. That way I can focus on what's important, mostly school since that's why I'm at ODU in the first place: to get an education.
yeah, kind of a downer post but eh it happens. Today was really fun which is odd to be in a somewhat downer mood after it all. Late at night gets you thinking, that and i guess chic flicks and observations but eh, it's about growing up. That's just life.

You Might Die Trying

Concerts make you a wee bit obsessed with the group you saw so naturally, after seeing the DMB concert last week I've been listening to mostly all Dave with a few songs from my childhood in there somewhere. So my two favorite songs of their's is this blog's title and Grey Street. I really like how they sound. So Grey Street is about this lady who keeps to herself with no connections at all to people who lives on "grey street" funny, since that is the song's name. And her life sucks cuz she is lonely and empty and "all the colors mix together to grey" (whatever that means) and it breaks her heart. Well she prays to God and feels like God's not listening and feels even more alone and then a stalker comes up to her door (which I perceive as Satan) because basically this stalker tells her lies and to pursue something fake and that will take the courage out of her, basically fill the hole of emptiness with anything except the one thing that will fit. By the end of the song she has not changed and still broken hearted. A sad song to an up tempo beat.
You Might Die Trying is about change and how you can be the change that what to see. That just moving forward is change however small that change may seem, it is still progress to something greater (being a christian , I'm biased and relate this to Christ but it can be taken any way you want) and one verse I like is "When you give, you begin to Live" which i find to be true. Cuz when you give you put others first and yourself last. And besides Jesus taught that a lot and I heard it would be a good idea to follow His teachings. But that's just a rumor I heard ;) I hope you get a chance to hear at least these two songs because they're really good. And the Christmas Song which is all about Christ so that one is really good too. Alright I'm out.

T.U.L.I.P. , The Five Points of Calvinistic Faith

TULIP, the mnemonic for Calvinistic faith.

T= Total Depravity
U= Unconditional Election
L= Limited Atonement
I= Irresistible Grace
P= Perseverance of the Saints

T = Total Depravity which is essentially original sin. Because of the fall of man everyone is enslaved to sin, can not love God with all of their whole mind, heart, and strength, unable to choose to accept salvation. For Calvinistic theology this leads straight into point number two, Unconditional Election because people can not choose God, God has to predestine who will be saved and who will not be. Supporting Passages: Genesis 6:5, Ecclesiastes 9:3, John 3:19

U= Unconditional Election
Before the dawn of time God choose to save some people for His own purposes and not based on any conditions such as merit or faith of those persons. This is linked to predestination with some being predestined to be saved whom will receive mercy while those not chosen to be saved with receive justice. Calvinists do not who are apart of the elect and for all they know God could have elected everyone, thus: they seek to do missions and to work on God's behalf to "find" more of the elect. Supporting Passages: John 15:16, Romans 9:15-16, Ephesians 1:11

L= Limited Atonement
Jesus died for sins of the elect by replacing himself in man's stead. Since it would be unjust for God to save some people from their sins and then condemn them for those sins, those who are atoned must be saved and since God has elected those whom will be saved Jesus died for those who were chosen to be saved. The atonement however is not limited in its power to vanquish all sin but that is was designed for some and not for all.

I= Irresistible Grace
The Holy Spirit will overcome any resistance and make God's will and influence effective and irresistible. The "saving grace of God" is applied to the elect, overcoming all resistance to making them obey the call of the gospel and a faith in Christ that will bring about salvation. Those who seek salvation do not do so by their own free will but because of the "sovereign discriminating grace of God. Supporting Passages: Romans 8:28,30

P= Perseverance of the Saints
"Once saved, Always saved". Those who are truly saved will never fall away from God but if they do then they were never truly saved in the first place. Supporting passages: John10:28-29, Romans 11:29, Romans 5:9-10

If I could give a summary it would be something like this: God chose who would be saved and Christ died to save only them and because they are truly saved they will never fall away and will submit to God's calling without resistance. To me, this theology emphasizes God's power, glory, and sovereignty and less of his love, mercy, and grace. This theology also undermines God's choice to give humankind freewill. Finally this theology is based on absolutes with no gray area allowed which results, as I've been told, to a more "freeing and less guilty" kind of faith. But if misunderstood can lead to a very lazy faith.
Now I believe that not one theology has it all right nor is complete because we have to remember that we are imperfect beings trying to comprehend the perfect Being through categories and theologies that He does not fit in and far surpasses. However, that is how we work and understand through categories so such theologies and categories are necessary for us to try and understand. For that is what we are trying to do, understand, for we will never truly understand God and Jesus until the day we meet Them.
As I've said I've been doing a lot of this theology searching this summer and quite frankly I'm downright frustrated with it all and just want to give up but some reason I feel I need to go through with this, don't know why. I get frustrated because I feel like I have to fit my beliefs, which is my prespective on God and Christ, into these categorized theologies whether it be Calvinism, Arminianism, Methodism, Baptist-ism, etc. and I feel like I have to agree with other people's beliefs whether it be my family to friends I feel like if I disagree they'll disown me forever; yeah, I know stupid fear but it's there and reading articles that say the church you grew up in is heresy and wayward doesn't help either. So I'll be writing another article on Arminianism which is most of what Methodism comes from which is the church I grew up in and finally I will write one more where I list what i agree and disagree with from these theologies and what I've come to believe in my experience with Christ and God and what my faith has turned out to be based on what God has revealed to me. I'm not really doing this for you but more for me, to get some kind of clarity on what I believe, why I believe it, and is it based on biblical passages. It's more of 'let me write it down so I can get all straightened out' because it is just eating me up inside and making me really frustrated at myself and at God for just not making it clear. I would love to hear what you think so feel free to leave comments or just talk to me in person about it but I won't be surprised if both don't happen. Happy Hunting!