Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving to all! Hope you all have a great day of feasting, sharing of good times, and just being able to enjoy one another's company.
I'm here in Williamsburg with the family watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade. The 'Heighty Tighties', which is the ROTC marching band at Virginia Tech, marched in the Parade which was pretty cool to see. Of course, the announcers, talked about the Tech massacre which kind of dampened the mood a bit but it was nice to honor them in that way. This is a good break with the family coming together and I'm excited to my other sister who is coming up tomorrow with my niece. There's just something about celebrating holidays that puts most people in the best of moods with all of life's troubles just seem to be put on hold. It is a nice feeling.
I watched Freedom Writers on Tuesday after hearing about clip that was used in the Social Justice track at 222. The clip was the scene where no one in the classroom knew what the Holocaust was except one kid. Overall, the movie was pretty good, a "change the world" kind of movie as Shane would put it.....haha it's a good phrase for this kind of genre. I've never really had a passion for helping out with Social Justice, I've done a lot mission work, but never really was "inspired" to do more until recently and I think this movie helped with that. Anyways, have GREAT Thanksgiving!!! :)

Self-Absorbed

"I'm not lonely as along as I have me." Have you ever thought that? Or how about, "I don't need anyone else, just me and God"? I have. Quite recently, well a few nights ago. I am wrong when I think such things.
How many times have we been self absorbed? Only thinking of ourselves? Not wanting to be involved in anyone? Just taking the easy route out? Using the excuse that, " I only need to focus on my relationship with God"? Rethink that and look in the Bible, God's telling us something quite different.
Before I dive into scripture let's think about this. When we limit ourselves to only knowing a few number of people we limit our relationship with God. We limit our growing relationship making it a standstill relationship which is dangerous place to be. In my experience this is when I'm usually convicted; God getting my attention, me realizing something is wrong, confessing it, and being committed to work through it with the result of a character change and growth in my relationship with God. Kind of tangent, but back on track. When we limit ourselves to a few that we are most comfortable with and that are the easiest to know we limit ourselves to God. We limit our love, thus relationship, thus growth. Why? Because we can't love God if we don't love people, Christians and non-Christians.
The second point, how do we further the Kingdom of God when we hang out with only Bobby Joe and Sally Rue? How do we spread the love of Christ and the gospels when we only hang out with a limited number of people that we are comfortable with, how do we grow?
Let's look at what God says about all this. We can't love God unless we love his people. We can't love Christ unless we love his people. Look at 1 John 4:20-21 and 1 John 5:1-3. 4:20"If someone says, 'I love God,' and hates his brother he is a lair; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? 21) And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also."Notice the verb, not should, or could, but MUST. If Christ is in us how can we hate our brother? We would hate Christ who is in him, thus; hating Christ. Look at 1 John 5: 3, "For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome." What are His commandments? 1) Love your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength. 2) Love your neighbor as yourself. There are no other commandments greater than these". Mark 12:30-31. So Jesus lays out for us, love God, love people. Further on we see that loving God is through loving His people. Read the whole book of 1 John, also look at James 4:11-12 where James is talking about not judging one another because you are actually judging the law, and what is the law in this case? I think it's Jesus. The word in flesh. See the picture? We can't experience a living, loving God if we don't have relationships. If we were meant to just know God through ourselves, Eve would not have been created. I don't think I explained this well enough due to lack of time but it's an important concept we all need to focus on.
The second part, furthering the kingdom of God I think is really just loving, caring for people and sharing the Gospels. We share the gospels just by caring for people. How? Because that is Christ's commandments and His life. We need to make sure that we don't surround ourselves in a bubble of comfort where we don't want to move out and meet, know, care for people. I know I've fallen into this trap and it's not healthy, my relationship with God was seriously degrading and lacking the essentially component; love. IV has been moving in both of these directions and being a part of it is has really made me grow a lot with relationships with people and with God.
Are you pursuing people? Caring for people? Are you pursuing Christ? Is your relationship growing or is it at a stand-still? Taking the easy way out, not working through the hard, or just making sure life is only about comfort? Is your main focus loving God and loving his people or is it seeking what's easiest and most comfortable? Are you being self-absorbed?

I just, don't know what to do.......

This is me right now. Question mark. I just don't know what to do with this, the next step? how to react? to say? I'm lost and it hurts a little bit. But there is a higher purpose for all this and something good will come out of it. Just right now it's a big question mark.
I was suppose to pick up a table and chairs from my boss' sister but had no vehicle to transport it and when I called her she didn't answer. Well, those are excuses, she called back but I didn't get it until around 730 because I was playing Frisbee golf with Doug and then dinner.
Glad this week was over. Kind of a rough one with some big tests and homework assignments. Then a conversation just made me feel like absolute crap and then two others, back to back, were really encouraging so it was good to have that to recover from.
Life's one big question mark....?

The Office

Great show. A bunch of friends watch the Office on Thursday nights which got me interested in it. Andrew had all three past seasons so I've been catching up on my office for the past two weeks now. I'm on the third disc in the third season so I've been making great progress to catch up. Half the show is improvised which makes it extremely funny with awkward moments and sayings occurring throughout the show. A short rundown is that Michael, guy sitting down, is the boss who says the worst thing at the worst time everyday, doesn't know when to shut up, an arrogant chump who has serious friend issues. Then, from left to right, Dwight (Michael's best friend and henchman), Pam, Jim, and Ryan the intern.
Pam and Jim have an interesting story in this show. Both of them play incredible pranks on Dwight which drives Dwight crazy and if you didn't know Dwight you would feel sorry for him but he's the biggest a-hole in the world so these pranks are quite justified......sort of. Pam and Jim are, hmm I guess, the love story with Jim liking Pam but Pam's engaged but secretly likes Jim.......so and so on, well there is one between Dwight and Angela but that's just freaking weird. Of course very funny weird, but weird nonetheless. It's a good show.

Part 2 of this post is about a great conversation with Shane yesterday. Been having those kinds of conversations a lot lately. But this one was kind of about finances....more of how I think and worry too much about it. And it's true....I do worry about it too much. My own family has said the same thing over and over again. The truth of the matter? I don't trust God with this. I really don't, I don't trust that He will take care of me in this aspect of my life. I don't know why I am like this but I hate it. I hate not trusting God with this. This is good though that I'm thinking about this. I need to let go of it and maybe, just spend the rest of the week not thinking about it at all. (Not saying I'm going to go out and buy anything that I want or won't think about going out to eat when I can eat at home), but more along the lines of I know I'm going to make ends meet the rest of the year so I'm going to stop worrying about it.

-Last night I got invited to go visit the Barnetts over spring break, just a 300 dollar plane ticket......and I love Cali......hahahaha this is great timing :)

Happy Hallow's Eve?

Today is Halloween, the 31st of October, the eve of all Saint's Day in the Catholic church.
So is this "holiday" have christian roots behind it or is it a pagan festival? Well both. But let's dive into the history of this peculiar festival and see where it actually came from. This festival started in Ireland in pre-Roman times, meaning before Rome settled the British isles. This was first a Gaelic festival, called Samhain, that celebrated the end of the harvest. They would take their harvested crops and slaughter animals to save in their winter stores. Also, they believed that on October 31, the realms between the living and the dead would coincide with one another letting the dead rise and cause havoc among the villages and crops. To ward off these spirits they had huge bonfires, where they threw the bones of the animals they slaughtered, and wore masks and cultural costumes. When the Romans started settling the isles they brought some of their traditions into the festival such as the celebrating Feralia which celebrates the passing of the dead and the Goddess Pomona. The symbol of Pomona was an apple which is where the tradition of bobbing for apples came from.
This became a Catholic holiday when Pope Gregory the 3rd moved the All Saint's Day Feast from May 13 to November 1st to keep the pagan festival celebrations but with now a christian meaning behind it. Today, these celebrations are taken place on different days but back then they were celebrated on the same day so that people would celebrate the All Saint's Day instead of the pagan Samhain festival but still celebrate it with the Samhain traditions...costumes, jack-o-lanterns, apples, etc. This was done to another holiday that I love, Christmas, with Christ most likely being born in the Spring to the reference of the Shepard's present at Jesus' birth, which was originally a pagan Roman holiday of the solstice and celebrations of gods' birthdays and festivals....etc. More on this subject during Christmas time. Anyways, in both instances the Catholic church declared these days christian holidays to entice people to convert to Christianity without losing there cultural celebrations. More of a political move than anything else, but not a bad idea.
My family never celebrated Halloween and they still don't due to the scriptures in the Bible where it says to stay away from witchcraft, black magic, celebrating spirits, etc. I need to research where these verses are to determine for myself if celebrating Halloween is going against the Bible when it says to stay away from that kind of stuff. Did I miss out on anything, the trick-o-treating and the like? Nope, not at all. We always did something else that night. We use to go to Busch Gardens every year during that weekend around the 31 and just had a blast spending the day riding the rides and with each other. Then Hallow-scream came along so we stopped going to Busch during that time, we did however go every year but it was during the summer instead of the Fall. But we always did something fun whether we played board games or watched movies or make and eat lots of food.
I'm now starting to think that when I have kids, will I let them celebrate Halloween. Again, I need to read those verses and determine for myself if Halloween is something that the Bible says to stay away from, but I can see how it can be confusing for kids that are learning about Christ and God and not participating in black magic kind of stuff to go out that night and dress up as a witch or zombie or undead, etc. Hmmm...something to think about.

Identity

I was reading my book at work the other day and the author produced this analogy concerning identity. Here's the setting from the infamous movie, the Lion King. You might have heard this before. Anyways, I think it's a good analogy.
Simba was born the son of a King. He loves that identity of being the son of a king. However, his jealous uncle indirectly kills Mufasa, blaming it on Simb,a who believes Scar, and then runs away from his father's kingdom. Things got rough and so he forgot his idenity, or more, turned to what was easiest and turned away from who he truly is. He finds Timon and Pumba, grows up apart of what he was created for, of who he really is. This new, easy life that he found started to come into conflict with who he really is, his identity when Timon and Pumba start to ask about his past. Simba eventually denies his father, his past life, who he really is. Then Rafiki comes along and here is the story from there.... S=Simba, R=Rafiki, M= Mufasa............S: Stop following me. Who are you?
R: The question is, Who are YOU?
S: I thought I knew, but now I am not so sure.
R: Well, I know who you are.
S: I think you're a little confused.
R: Wrong! I am not the one who is confused. You don't even know who you are.
S (walking away): Oh, and I suppose you do?
R: You're Mufasa's boy! Bye.

S:You knew my father?
R: Correction, I know your father.
S: I hate to tell you this, but he died, a long time ago.
R: Nope, wrong again! (laughing) He's alive! and I'll show him to you!

This shocked Simba to following Rafiki through the immense jungle to a pond where Rafiki says...

R: Look down there (pointing at a pond)
S: That's not my father, it's just my reflection
R: No...look harder. You see? He lives in you.

Mufasa comes in a huge cloud and....

M: Simba!
S: Father?
M: Simba, you have forgotten me.
S: No. How could I?
M: You have forgotten who you are and so, have forgotten me. Look inside yourself, Simba. You are more than what you have become.

This is something that I can relate to, having conflicting "identities", a divided heart. Forgetting who I really am, a child of God. Pursuing other things than my relationship with Christ. Pursuing other things than people. Loving idols, materialistic things, false things instead of God. All things that are false identities. And so, I have forgotten who I am, and so have forgotten God. We all are more than what we become when we start to lose focus on what's truly important: 1) Relationship with God. 2) Relationship with others. I lost focus of that, and so became this person that was not who I was created to be, who was not my identity. Just thought that was a cool display in something so commonly known as the Lion King. Hope your heart isn't divided, and if it is remember who you really are and find comfort that God will never stop pursuing you. :)

This is me on a huge boulder overlooking the river leading into the canyon. West Virginia has been having a terrible drought, along with many other Eastern Coast states, with the river been nothing but a tiny stream. The waterfall you see in the picture is all that is left of the Blackwater River. It would usually be so full that Tony, the friend who took this picture, would be engulfed with water and the boulder that I am sitting on would be under water about half way.
We went to Blackwater Falls WV, a state park near Davis, West Virginia. There are more cool pictures on facebook. We went on top the biggest water fall they had, about 57 feet, found this one just by randomly taking a side trail and we found another one when we heard it and then went off the trail to go find it. This was a very sweet trip with a lot of hiking, climbing rock faces, crossing rivers by jumping across stones (with Steve slipping and falling into the river every time he tried to cross. Finally, he gave up and just waded across to the other bank where Tony and I were, it was very funny). We weren't suppose to have any campfires due to the drought but did anyways; what's camping without a camp fire? Besides we made sure that the flame wasn't TOO high. It was nice to get away from the city and school and stuff to go into the mountains where you see all the trees changing colors with fiery reds, luscious yellows, and extravagant oranges. It was good to be able to think about everything that's been happening, dealing with all the junk of ODU life.
This one place we hiked to called the overlook was just amazing. You were literally on top the mountain looking down in the canyon, seeing the river and the mountains surrounding the river. Very awesome, with some amazing clouds to just top it off. When we first got there, there was a group of college kids reading the bible and talking about it; I believe it was Psalms, not quite sure but sounded like the descriptive imagery that Psalms generally has for God and His creation. It was cool to see that and to hear it. Kind of wished I had talked to them about it, get in on some fellowship, to be apart of that once again.
We liked the overlook so much that we went back that night, being Saturday night, and man just as awesome at night during the day. Stars galore! Haven't seen that many stars in a long while; saw a couple shooting ones as well. I even read the Bible! No way! I actually had time to do it, and the motivation. Read the first three chapters, over those three days, of 1st John. I heard from a trusted source that was the "love" book so I decided to take a look. Never read it before. So far, I can see why it is the love book, and I'm enjoying it immensely. I'm getting a lot of it which is good. Chapter 3 really stuck out for me especially verses 11-19, especially this one, verse 17:
"But whoever has this world's goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?"

In this passage the "him" at the end of the sentence, is that referring to the brother that has the world's goods and shuts up his heart or is that the brother who is in need? I read it as the brother who is in need; as in if the one that shuts his heart up to the brother in need than the brother in need will not know the love of God, it won't abide in him. But take it as you will, don't be afraid to let me know or read the whole chapter and let me know what you think. Good book nonetheless.

Good trip; hopefully go on one of those again soon some time. Hope everyone else's weekends were cool. Be glad to hear about it :)

Camping

Yup, I'm going camping this weekend. Wish it was here, in Colorado, one of my favorite states. I think it is the best state for outdoor adventures: rock climbing, skiing/snowboarding, hiking, horseback riding, whitewater rafting, swimming, running, all water sports except surfing, etc. But West Virginia will have to do....nah, just kidding really glad that I got invited to go so I'm pretty grateful for this.
Well, I'm kind of like man it's probably going to be awkard cuz it's with one person I know well, another I kind of know and then their high school friends and me, hahaha an ODU student who will be the youngest one there. It'll be fun though. Good time for me to just talk to God, and read the Bible. Two things I haven't been doing as much as I should nor want to. Kind of feel real distant because of it and need like a "quiet time" to try and just start over. Plus I just like camping and I think it will be fun hanging with these guys.
Small group on Tuesday was probably the best one yet where we dove into the last half of James chapter 2 about faith and works and we discussed, very passionately, about faith and what it is and what it looks like and how acting corresponds with faith and prayer and not really knowing anything and yet still acting even though we don't want to but have faith that God is calling us too.....yeah, most of it were big circular conversations but it was just awesome to talk about God and faith and just pursuing God in that way. Again, something I haven't had in a while; talking about faith and scripture. One little bit that I thought was interesting and something we all do everyday is the cultural sayings of "how are you?" and the immediate response "good" without even thinking what the question nor the answer really means. The pastor on sunday briefly talked about this. That question use to mean something: i care about. Now it is just a tradition, a common courtesy to conduct when you see a stranger. Does the person that asks that really care? Maybe, but 9 times out of ten they don't and it's just a habit.
And the answer, good? Just another custom in our culture to just get away from that subject and move on. To not get involved with the person asking the question, they immediately respond with good. And that's it. On both sides, people just don't care. Why? Because they don't have time nor the motivation to get involved in the other person's life, to care for them, to have a friendship with them. So they pass by on the sidewalk with out a care in the world that they other person just got fired and really needs encouragement or the other just needs someone to share the joy that he has when his girlfriend said yes to "The Question". But this doesn't happen, except on a rare occasion, because generally people don't care and maybe there's something wrong with that.
Awesome small group though. Had a really good talk with Shane about friendships and he said one thing that stood out, "You can't experience a Living God without having good friendships" or something like that, basically you can't grow or experience a living God by yourself. I agree with that, maybe you can, who knows...God is endless but being a Christian is one of the hardest things to do by yourself, and you can forget about growth. Yeah, still thinking about all the stuff from earlier blogs, it's still hard but I have some kind of peace about it which makes thinking about it and acting on it a lot better.

Oh, glad to see Shane and Jon bloggin again. Finally, I can read some other people's thoughts. Steve, Andrew, you guys are seriously slacking off and need to get with the program.......... :) Bubye!

Behind the Scenes

My last post was an upbeat one due to the exciting and hopeful conversation I had with my sister, Kelly, about Christ. Those of you that know me well should understand that this is a big deal because of our pasts; yet again you might not because you forgot or something but regardless, it's a huge step towards something good. I can definitely see how God is working with her and several of my other friends who have started pursuing Christ. It's exciting to see that and even more exciting to be apart of that; to be there, help and care for them as they search out who Christ really is.
On the other hand I don't see God working amidst all the pain and drama that is going on with some of my other friends and with IV. But doesn't mean He's not working; just that I am blinded by all these struggles and hurts that keep me from seeing how this is all going to turn out in the end. The sermon from yesterday was about that; discouragement, what that looks like, how to deal with it, what it means to be discouraged, and to be reminded that God is still working, just behind the scenes. And the pastor said something that was pretty encouraging, actually the whole sermon was encouraging which is funny because it was about discouragement, that the devil is going to try everything in his power to keep you down, to keep you from God and to keep you from doing God's work. And when you feel discouraged remember that you must be doing something the devil doesn't like because he is trying to distract and hurt so much to keep you from doing what God has called you to do. Satan doesn't play fair; he kicks you when your down. And he went on to tell a story about this new believer in Christ and how all this crappy stuff happened. It was a good example and something I needed to hear to keep from GIVING UP.
Because that's what I've been wanting to do these past couple of weeks, just give up and move on to the next chapter in life. It's hard to pursue people when your not pursued, to feel like friends are drifting away with out a care in the world, to care constantly, when on occasions, you don't feel cared for. I know several people who have experienced t this and who have friends just walk out with out looking back and yeah, it sucks and hurts, Lloyd can vouche for me on that. But then you hear about the good friendships, the true ones, the kinds that form true Christian community that Christ talks about and what churches and IV should be. For example, Andrew and I were talking and he brought up how Doug had said something like "you mean a lot to me, or you mean too much to me for that" and I was just like dang, that's awesome to be told that. That's a true, real, caring, friendship. That's the kind of community that IV should have and one that I want to help build.
It was weird how Katie and I, on the way to church, were talking about how we felt incredibly discouraged with some stuff going on at ODU with IV, friends, whatever, and bam! look what the pastor talks about. It's crazy! It happens so often and I'm pretty freaked out about it. See, there's God again, easily seen. It's just we gotta be reminded when stuff sucks that God has a reason for it and is still working, even if we can't see it.


On a side note, we finally met the pastor after going to the church for almost half a year with me almost forcing Katie to go say hi. We also went to the college class thing with a better leader this time and it seems like everything that I try to provide for my small group, discussion, community, outreach, was everything that we agreed upon to have in that class so that was cool to see. Kind of excited to where this goes. Also, we "committed" ourselves to reading scripture and memorizing some too for next week's class to discuss what we learned and how it applied. That will be good for me because I need some accountability concerning my pursuit towards God and reading scripture as I have been falling astray of late, getting too distracted for God. bad, bad, bad. That's about it, sometimes missing what I had in the past and reminding myself of God, working behind the scenes.

God is moving

God is moving, working. OH MAN is He moving!!!!! Admist all pain and struggles He is constantly moving, constantly working, loving. This spurt of praise is because I had two very awesome convos last night and oh man, God is moving. One convo was with my sister and dang, I got teary eyed with what we were talking about and even now just thinking about it. I can't explain now, I'm late for class but God is definitely working.

DMV

I hate the DMV and Virginia's new traffic laws. I'm pretty pissed right now, so this is going to be a venting post. I just got a call from my mom about how the wonderful DMV just sent me a letter kindly notifying me that I need to take an 8 hour driving session within 90 days or my license will be suspended. Not only that, I have to pay the session fee of 75 dollars and then a reinstatement fee of 131 dollars, which happens to be the same price of my ticket. To add on to this lovely pile of crap, my insurance is going up and I'm shelling all this money out of my own pocket which I carefully budgeted for my next semester's school bills and the like, thankfully my parents are covering the insurance which leaves me 196 dollars to shell out to the lovely department of motor vehicles.
Due to their new driving laws and the fact that I got my ticket within the 18-19 age group and that i went 15 over the speed limit I have to do this crap. If I was 20 all I had to do was just pay the ticket. Nope, I'm a youngen. I can't really blame the DMV for this; it is completely my fault and I admit it, I'm just extremely frustrated with the situation with all the crap I've been thinking about and dealing with and with NO time and ALL stress and this to add on to my mountain of crap! Doesn't look like I'll be quiting that job anytime soon, I'll be needing it to pay this off, so much for trying to go to Crash, freaking A!. Yeah, the pastor is right when he says," sometimes when it rains, it pours" and right now it seems like it's freaking POURING!

Alright, I'm done complaining. Now it's time to figure this junk out and act upon it.

Everything

Everything. Recently I just watched an really awesome skit about Jesus being our Everything and it was set to the song Everything by Lifehouse. I first received this video from Kasey Powell, so if you see her give her a word of thanks for finding it and sending it to everyone on leadership. I recently did thank her via email and she sent one back that kind of made me a little angry. Apparently I was the only one, on all of leadership team, to reply back, even though I didn't watch it until 3-4 weeks after I received it. She was saying how no one said anything about it and then IV used it for CRASH, without one word of thanks or credit to Kasey for finding it. Unbelievable! That IV would have the audacity to use something and claim the credit for it when they received it from an outside source. Not even a word of thanks or this was awesome or even a disagreement, nope, nada, zip. Any response is better than no response. Because with no response becomes assumptions and with assumptions comes mis-communications and that can just screw EVERYTHING up. I don't blame her for feeling down about that, I would feel taken advantaged of or used (not a good way used). It's not the point that she didn't get the credit but that her actions felt worthless, felt like they didn't matter, that no one cared. I know how that feels like but IV? That shouldn't come from there of all places....I'm really starting to think what IV is truly representing these days. But I can't say anything or speak up about it because I'm not really "involved". Something I'm taking harsh steps to change.
Anyways, that's not really what I wanted to write this blog about but just something that got me a little angry. Like i said before this video was pretty convicting for me, hard core. I don't have time to explain in depth about it now, but if you watch it you'll understand when I say that Jesus has not been my Everything for quite a while now and that I've been losing myself to the distractions of this world and am now just realizing it. I really encourage you to watch this video and just think about some of the distractions in your life that is keeping you from Christ. Especially watch the ending, it is the BEST PART. Is He a "category" you fall under or your life and source? Is your relationship with Him what drives your or your pride in your denomination, a name, a simple label? Is Jesus Christ your light? Is He your Everything?

Being computer retarded I couldn't figure out how to post the video on my blog so I'm posting a link to Steve's blog where he posted the video I sent him. Hope you like it.

http://web.mac.com/steven_jr/T&T/Blog/Entries/2007/10/9_Everything.html


P.S. Funny, a song called Revelation Song was done at my church a few Sundays ago with the huge choir and orchestra getting really into it and this song is about Christ being your everything. God was probably sending me a clue then, took me about 3 weeks to get it. Later yo.
I didn't realize this until after I wrote this but if you read Steve's blog, this one will look extremely similar. Funny.

Church

Today was church day; aka Sunday. Church was really nice this morning. The worship was pretty cool with one song just blowing me away, giving me goosebumps. They had the whole choir and orchestra, percussion and a band going on this one song and man was it good. The advantage of a big church is a huge choir with more instruments; thus more worship styles and songs that can be done. The sermon was good as well. He said a couple of things that made me extremely uncomfortable because one was close to heart and the other was a "convicting moment".
Oh, I was glad that he didn't make fun of catholics this time, made fun of baptists which was really funny, because I brought my "non-christian" friend Curby to church. If you've been keeping up on my blogs this name should sound familiar; indeed, she is the same non-christian friend that I had brought to Camp Rudolph and had mentioned in that blog post. Go re-read it if you forgot; it's a good one.
But the sermon was based on Luke 7:11-16 and about when God "visits" us or when you know He is around or something, I forgot the majority of it. But he said something about baptism and believer's baptism which just struck more than I thought it would cuz the way he was talking about seemed to be the situation I find myself in now. That sent me into thinking about baptism and what it means, how it is in the bible, what would happen if I did get "re-baptized", what my parents think, what my mom would think, how they would react, do I want to in the first place, do I want to join this church, do I want to become part of something where the majority of the time I don't belong, etc. Thinking of this and the other crap that's been going on for weeks now can really make feel burdened, so you can guess why I didn't like the pastor talking about that but is it something that God is trying to get me to think about? I can't see how this would help with anything nor further His kingdom or do His will but who knows, I'm blind compared to God with such things. It was good though because Katie and I made meatloaf and brownies tonight for dinner and a movie kind of shindig. While the meatloaf was cooking, about an hour, we were talking about the sermon and church and IV and how our lives are too busy and I asked her, why we feel called to that church? Why we keep going back when time after time we feel so unwelcomed there, when we know absolutely no one and in a big church the person you meet one sunday you'll probably never see again. I was making the point that a main draw for new comers to keep coming back to the church is if they feel welcomed and if they meet people and gain some kind of friendship with some of the members there. We don't have that yet we keep going back. Not only that, but we want to get involved, hard core involved like teaching Sunday school or working with high school, doing the college Sunday school class or the singles class or singing in the choir for Christmas and participating in all the events and all that junk. God has put us in that church for a reason; yet, we don't know why. Or we're just completely blind to the fact that we don't belong there, sometimes that feels very true. But who knows, I believe it is the first thing. Change can be very hard sometimes, not being as close to some of your best friends, seeing some friendships drift, not talking about God or faith or religion or "Godly, deep" stuff anymore, or encouragement or just not having enough time to just get together and catch up. But this stuff happens, everyone gets busy and start to not have time for any one so you start to drift and fade to the point of not talking and forgetting everything....this is the sin of time; being to busy for God, your relationship with Christ and your relationships with everyone else. Man that was a big tangent but I'm glad that I could just get out because holding it in, so no one will think that you're depressed or annoying or a burden, really makes it worse. But yeah, church was good, wish I could talk to some people about it but I guess I just have to work with what I got...mr. good ol' blogger here. Off to bed for me, running on an awesome trail in the morning in VA beach. :)

Orchids

I think flowers are pretty sweet. Like this one; it's so unlike your typical flower that you see. Everyone has seen a daffodil, rose, pansy, tulips, etc. all these common flowers that people immediately think of when you say the word flowers. But man, orchids would have to be my favorite so far, that and some other flower that I had to draw in art class but forgot its name.
I'm in this class called Practice of Science which is to teach future scientists or biology majors how to write scientific papers. It's quite different than your average paper. We had to write a research paper for yesterday's class and man, you had to cite everything. Not only that, every sentence had to be specific and straight to the point. No nice sounding sentences with imaginative adjectives and beautiful phrases and sentence structure: nope, straight to the point. If you don't she'll mark all over your paper with scratch outs and phrases like "what's the point for this sentences". My teacher is Dr. Tatyana Lobova, a young, quite attractive, professor from Russia who is teaching here at ODU and also several online graduate classes at Harvard, with one class group calling her in the middle of the class to reaffirm directions to a field trip to wherever they were going. Very smart and very, very passionate about flowers and evolution. Yesterday's class was about 5 people; the other half didn't show up cuz it was paper turn in day. No surprise there. But at the end of the class the whole class, including the teacher, started joking about papers and turning in papers and the like which made the atmosphere more comfortable; makes you less afraid of the teacher when she gives you comments or you have to meet with her concerning your paper.
Afterwards she invited us to go look at some orchids in the greenhouse which is currently under construction on ODU's campus and is not open to the public yet. So a few of us went to go see some orchids, me included cuz I've never seen one in real life. There was this one orchid which has a stem like structure that was 8 inches long which contains the nectar and pollen that is needed for this flower to reproduce. She went on to explain how this flower specifically evolved to have a moth, with an 8 inch probiscus which is essentially an 8 inch tongue, be the one species that can pollinate this flower. Like I said before she is very passionate about evolution and flowers; when she looks at this she sees nothing but evolution for being the sole cause for this event to happen. I see it and see nothing but evidence for God and is unique, awesome creation. Of course we're both biased with our opposite views on such subjects but it's interesting how she portrays evolution as a living "being" constantly working on creation while I see it as God's awesome creation. Evolution is god to her; God is god to me. I think it would be interesting to see what her opinions on religion would be in the first place but maybe some other time. Overall it was cool to see this teacher become more of a person, to see something that she loves doing and loves teaching about and "open" up a little bit to show that she's not just a hired hand to grade our stuff and determine our passing and failing. Because when you're in a class of 200 or so you see the teacher as just a teacher with out really any personal attributes but on a smaller class basis like this class you start to see the person more and that makes the learning environment a lot more enjoyable and more comfortable.
but yeah, concerning evolution, I have a interesting view on it with God being in the center of it all which I got into a slight disagreement/argument in my small group with a very brilliant person over the controversy of evolution. Something I've been getting use to, being one of a few Christians in my biology classes, especially my evolution class. The more I study science, the more I see God, the more I want to talk about God and especially Christ. Maybe being a scientist is a way I can do that, only God knows. :)

Mountians

What an awesome freaking picture. Man I just want to go there and run it. That's the runner in me, to see mountains or really cool hills or fields and run them. It's weird, I get more out of it by running through it than walking, which it should be the opposite because when you walk through it you get to soak in more due to the fact that you are going at a slower pace. Nope! Not for me! I gotta run through it; it's more lively, adventurous, action packed: nature seems to come alive when I run. Anyways, yeah mountains. See this mountain is a "good" mountain where it's beautiful, an adventure, a new turn in your life that will be fun to go through, like running up the mountain where it is just blissful where God is unmistakably
clear and you can see Him with no problem. A bad mountain is a like a struggle, a period in your life when everything just hits the fan and spirals downwards. Maybe it doesn't have to be going downwards but upwards, just something is hard at the moment and it's hard to get over it, to move through it, to struggle through that battle your facing and winning. It's a lot harder to see God when you're barely crawling up the mountain, although it's a lot easier to remember Him during your time of need; not so much when life is going your way.
Anyways, that little spurt of babble came from a song i just listened to called "You don't have to move that mountain" by Nickel Creek. Today was definitely like a little hill with sharp rocks embedded in it. Basically it was a rough day, well rough week in general so hmmm, that hill got a little bit bigger but not a huge mountain. But today, ouuuu weee, it was tough, tougher than usual i should say. Beginning with last night, 545-9 work, 9-10 dinner and research paper typing (dinner was Alfredo and spaghetti sauce spagetti), 10-1030 late night run, 1040-1115 research paper, 1120-bed. 500am wake up, 530-1010 work, 1030-`1130 geology class and quiz, 1130-1215 research paper,1215- 1245 frisbee, 110-300 research paper, 3-4 class, 4-7 typing on this and studying for geography exam, 7-10 class, 10-1030 maybe a run. So in summary it was one freaking hectic day with me either studying, typing, or working. These past couple of days really makes me want to have a good weekend; i understand now the phrase work hard, play hard. While on my run last night, Steve freaking jumped out of the bushes and scared the crap out of me thinking he was some kind of thief or something. Haha, that was funny; a fun interruption during a stressful, hard day, although he started conversation and i was like, uhhh you chose a weird time to talk about stuff-in the middle of my run, huh, hahaha. Nah it was cool,scary, but funny although on the way back i almost threw up the dinner a couple of times which was not cool; never eat spaghetti 30 before your run.
I think i'll go for another late night run tonight, those are fun. Seems more serene and tranquil. So Fall Breaks is coming up, freaking heck yes! Upside: No classes, little hw, lots of free time, time to check out that trail Shane gave me directions too (Any one want to come???!!!!)
Downside: Work (not a lot though), everyone is leaving except like Katie and I, and I have a house to myself. Hmm I think i'm going to go find that mountain and run it!

Side note: I've been playing Volleyball almost on a weekly basis with the ryan's and travis. Travis and I are on a team, we win a few games but have been getting better as vb partners. Anyways, i say 'freaking a' a lot when i mess up or over hit the ball or something and the other day when we were playing i caught him saying it, and then saying it a lot. that was funny, interesting how the people you interact as such an impact whether you recognize it or not.

StressTrEsSstressStrESsSTreSSSTRESS

The down side of college: stress. I have terrible time management skills and I'm starting to suffer from it. Today is the day when I will hopefully end that. Where is all the stress coming from?
1. School. Taking 17 credits with all of them science classes save for one is pretty stressful. Not having a work schedule or routine down does not help either; just makes things worse. So much for freshmen year when I could just study a few days before the tests to get A's. Change, I need to change.

2. Jobs. I currently work at ODU for the Alumni association calling people for money. This job isn't that stressful, very boring and sometimes just ridiculous, but it's easy pay for what you do. Talking for 3 hours straight can get a bit hefty but you learn to become a robot and say the same thing over and over again. The second job is the coffee shop on at the Heart Hospital where everyone else from IV has worked. The reason for this add on is to try and determine which of these two jobs is more beneficial for my schedule and money making. If I keep pull it off I"m going to try and do both with one being entirely in the morning with the other job entirely in the evening. I need the money for next semester and household expenses so not having a job at all just will not due. Also, if the coffee shop job is a lot better than the phone calling one than I'll quit the calling job so I can start going to IV large group aka Crash. Since I never go, I never see anyone nor meet anyone new. Some new people at the retreat have never seen me nor knew that I was a small group leader. So not going to crash makes me feel less involved but I'm still involved, so it's a worthless feeling to have.
3. Small group leader. I'm having a hard time to meet up with my co-leader and trying to prepare for myself small group, well I would like to personally prepare better than I have been. But I shouldn't let school, jobs and other stressful activities keep me from spending time with God or diving into the word because I'll start drifting away from Him without even knowing it.

It's a stressful time now but it'll be over soon; just gotta discipline myself to buckle down figure out a schedule and do my work because I'm missing out on some really cool Godly stuff that 's happening now due to my busy schedule which is not cool. So goodbye stress, I'm done with you. Time for me to conquer you and move on cuz I'm missing out on God because of it.

"That doesn't kill me, can only make me stronger..." -Stronger by Kanye West. Usually not a fan at all with Kanye but like this song.

Fall Break

Ouuuweee. Talk about one fun weekend, two in a row...that's pretty sweet. Friday I drove to the rents house in Bburg at around 1230 getting there at around 5 with my Eldest sister coming in an hour later and my other sister meeting us at my brother's football game. He's in the marching band so we all went to cheer him on and not necessarily care about the game although some very nice plays were made by Blacksburg. When I say cheer, I mean screaming and yelling to the point of embarrassing total strangers that are around us and especially embarrassing my mom. hahaahha, yeah when the band marches on the field Kelly, Kasey, and I yell and scream our hardest with my dad whistling really loudly. We usually get Jon to smile or roll his eyes but it's awesome to be supportive in such a small way. We did it at his band festival on saturday as well but we caused him to mess up and he didn't turn around on the right beat so hahahah that was funny.
It's funny how this weekend came to be with me promising my brother that I would come home to play Halo 3 with him and then Kasey saying she was coming that weekend and us two convincing Kelly to come that weekend as well. Funny how Halo 3 got a family reunion going. Yeah, it's sad that I would drive 4 and a half hours just to play a video game but it's not just playing a video game but spending time with the little brother which doesn't happen that often. Plus hanging with the family is always, always freaking awesome. It's why I hold family and terms like brother and sister seriously.
I did not get to finish beating halo with Jonathan which sucks cuz that was the original reason I went there with us staying up til around 3 or 4 with me getting up at 7 to leave Bburg by 8 to get to work on time by 2. I hate having to impede family time with such a lame job like phone calling which does nothing beneficial, well kind of. But glad I got to go cuz I won't be going home for Fall Break due to alas! work. Got some much needed supplies like my water bottle, clothes, dvd player and posters so my room can doesn't look like a rapist's room anymore, who some people have mentioned that it does. These posters and a Jesus name one should take care of that problem.....hahaha.
I think the next thing I want to learn about are car parts. Whilst washing my car this weekend I was talking to my dad about taking care of my car which really motivated me to learn about how it works. Really like talking to my dad about stuff. Hope life is sweller than ever and I'm off to eat some dinnaaaaaaaa.

Retreat, Church, Family

I know have Freaking internet!!!! I've been wanting to write this blog since Sunday evening but was unable to because I did not have any internet at all; none, zip zero, couldn't even borrow it but now we do and it's awesome. No more half hoping for internet today.
The retreat was this past weekend which was awesome. This retreat and the retreat at Camp Rudolph last year are, by far, my favorite retreats. It was weird seeing the change from being a new person last year at the retreat, not knowing anyone and then being a leader at this year's retreat making sure that everyone felt known. I try to make sure that people feel that they belong because feeling new or feeling like you don't belong can feel a bit daunting and down. But man, it was a great retreat with tons of awesome times from eating with different people during meal times, to Frisbee, to volleyball, to the Saturday night worship, and bonfire...etc. It has been a real long time I've had something like that and it was good to be in that atmosphere again since I never go to Crash now due to work. The most memorable of happenings was Saturday night where we had a great time for reflection and worship with Katie and Jason singing worship songs with the C-team, Shane, Dawn, Jeremy(the intern), and Jeremy(friend of Shane's and Dawn's from Church) were in the back of the building where people could come back there and talk to them and pray with them which I thought was an awesome idea and loved it. So people dispensed to where they felt called and I was sitting in the row just thinking about stuff and saw my good friend Curby sitting in a row by herself thinking as well.
I had invited Curby to go on the retreat and eventually "convinced" her but I think it was more of the Holy Spirit leading her, anyways, she's not a Christian and came to the retreat. What was even more amazing to me was that she was in my small group for the weekend which was just God written all over it. So she's sitting there that Saturday night and me, being compelled or lead by the Holy Spirit went beside her to pray for her. I've never done that with any of my non Christian friends and it was just really really amazing and spirit filled. So intense in fact I almost cried when I began to pray for her but i was like, " pull it together, she needs you to be strong...." but anyways, that was really intense and cool that I was apart of that, that God let me be apart of that. So the prayer ended and she was crying and I gave her a hug and made her laugh alittle, you know it's good to laugh after such intense spiritual moments ;) After that I went to the back to talk to Shane, again feeling compelled to. That was really cool; we talked about what just happened with me and Curby, how awesome that is, and how the Holy Spirit was definitely in that room tonight and when I was talking about this I look over and I see tears in his eyes (sorry Shane if this embarrasses you but it was such an awesome moment for me to be in and I just wanted to share it :) which caused me to just let go and tears came streaming down and there we were, two adults joyfully crying about God and His work. It was one of the most memorable moments in my life so far, and when I look back at it I just can't get over how awesome God is and how He works, constantly working, constantly moving, constantly loving. Just being apart of God's work is just incredible and unbelievable even if it's such intense spirit filled nights such as that one or just being involved in church or missions or being a friend to someone that needs a friend; it's awesome and we both agreed that night that we want to spend the rest of our lives doing that.
Anyways, it was freaking AWESOME! Just like last year's retreat, but both were completely different awesomeness and growth; kind of weird looking back on that. In other news, Katie and I are really trying to be involved in the church we have been going to, Liberty Baptist Church. We went to their huge festival or carnival on Sunday which was awesome that they had it and the idea is great but since we were new to the church and didn't really know anyone except like one person we felt like we were on the outside. Katie put it nicely, "It's like one big family reunion" with me adding, "But we're not in the family" So it was kind of a let down but it's a good thing to feel new again that way we can try and make sure that no one feels unwelcome or what not. But this one church member, while we were touring Kidville which is basically the children's Sunday school wing of the church that looks like Dr. Suess amusement park, a lady over heard me kidding about teaching Sunday school and one thing lead to another and she hooked us up with the coordinator of the whole thing or something and now we just finished our applications to be involved in the church. Interesting, how God works. Hopefully this time next year we won't feel as new like at Camp Rudolph how I was new last year and a year later made sure that people were known this year. The lady at the church, I think her name is Sarah Mullins or something, but she was very interested in us and interested in us helping which felt really cool, very nice lady hopefully see her again or something. But man, very great weekend overall, being in the top 10 of weekends in my life by far.
I never really took this phrase seriously but I'm really excited to how God is going to use me, Katie, Curby, and Intervarsity overall. That's a nice thought to have.

Wine, Cocktails, Shots and Beer

This is something that has also been on my mind even though it has relatively nothing to do with theology. A good break and those who have been reading you've probably guessed that there has been a lot on my mind. Thanks again for reading it and also for saying that you look forward to reading this kind of stuff. Makes a guy feel loved when people take interest in what you're thinking.

Just want to clarify that this blog isn't about bashing people who drink or whatever, I don't do that.....or at least I do it to your face :) haahha, just kidding. But this has been a very controversial topic among some churches and Christians alike. I know in my family we are divided on this issue. So it has been on my mind since this the summer and especially now at college where drinking is one of the few things to do around here. But first confessions, I did drink alcohol illegally in this country once and then drank in Germany when I went there through the exchange program; never got drunk but not saying that as an excuse or to soften up what I did. My views on it now are quite different then my views in high school. Well, Biblically there is nothing that says "You should not drink alcohol" although the Bible does warn us about drunkness and to not participate it. There are several reasons why I choose not to drink which I won't mind sharing with you in person but for now, I want to get you thinking about this. Because you have Christians saying that it is a sin and no one should participate in it and then you have Christians using the excuse that Jesus drank and so can I or some just find no problem with it. For the first group, I would like them to point out where in the Bible it says that drinking is a sin. I know where it says that drunkness is a sin but the act of drinking; not so sure about and that's where the controversy comes in. Do I judge those who have different opinions than I do? No, I try not too. How can I when I did the same thing in the past? But I will say what I believe about it and my opinion on this subject which several people take as judging, which is not my intent nor motive, for what gain is there in doing so? And the only time I think when Jesus actually drank something alcoholic was during the last supper which doesn't really count due to the holiness of the event and situation leading to the sacrament of communion. But yeah, drinking. I think it's something that Christians at least think about and what they believe from reading the scriptures. However, I've heard apple martinis are especially tasty and quite delectable.....haha;)

Confirmation

This is just a short follow up blog from yesterday's. I finally finished that Methodist theology literature and confirmation was brought up which I thought I would write down so I could remember it and just to give you ( and me) some light on the Methodist beliefs.

So Baptists believe that baptism is the profession of faith, saying they believe in Christ as their lord and savior who died for their sins and bridges the gap between the sinner and God, etc. etc. etc., so they get baptized when they make this commitment, this choice in their life, whatever.

Methodist do that too but it's called confirmation. It's not joining the church, that's what essentially happens with infant baptism along with God's grace coming into your life at that point, but a profession of faith almost exactly like the baptist baptism. Basically Methodist confirmation = Baptist baptism.

Also something I forgot to emphasize is that Methodists don't believe baptism is required to be Christian nor to live a life of faith but believe that it is the time when God's grace becomes apart of the child's life and well I'll just quote it, "The saving grace made available through Christ's atonement is the only hope of salvation for persons of any age. In baptism infants enter into a new life in Christ as children of God and members of the Body of Christ. The baptism of an infant incorporates him or her into the community of faith and nurture, including membership in the local church." I failed to mention that in the other blog. So with my personal theology, experience with God and interpretation of the Bible I would have to believe that baptism is a profession of faith rather than an entrance for God's grace. However, the issue still stand from the other blog about having to be re-baptized to join the church which I'm not quite sure I want to get re-baptized since, 1. Already baptized and made my profession of faith 2. it's disrepectful toward my parents and their beliefs 3. Family, hmmm, discontent on changing denominations to put it lightly. More stuff to pray about.